The lowest blow here? Doesn’t even look like she’s going to wipe that claw off before using it again.

Things that have happened to me since I’ve spoke with you all last:

  • I have had homemade sweet potato gnocchi, with a maple-sage sauce, courtesy of my lovely girlfriend
  • I have decided, for buried psychological reasons that I don’t want to face, that chocolate baking morsels are an okay thing to be bought and eaten explicitly as a snack
  • I have given a cat a bath for the first time in my life, which was surprisingly easy
  • I have tried to cut oranges for salad, which was surprisingly hard. I also tried to make salad dressing, which didn’t come out as much more than an accidentally sweetened balsamic vinegar
  • I’ve been thinking about buying area rugs, i.e., the most uncomfortably adult thing next to figuring out life insurance beneficiaries and realizing you need to polish your dress shoes.
  • I’ve grown unusually fond of playing with my beard, which probably means it’s time to shave it off.

<3 Mike