I don’t know about you guys, but my heart feels so warmed I’m  just about ready to barf.

There are two comic news items I wanted to write a little about before they slipped out of the press cycle completely: The new half-black/half-Hispanic Ultimate Spider-Man and the Big DC relaunch.

NEW SPIDEY: Social progress aside, the most interesting thing for me here is the chance to see a completely different Spider-Man. Depending on how different his background and supporting cast is, we could go all kinds of new and interesting places with this character. New arch-villains (so tired of the Green Goblin), new character theme (a more interesting twist on “with great power comes responsibility?”), new settings, personalities, etc. I mean, it’s a given that this new Spider-Man is going to be some kind of wise-cracking, nerdy outsider character who struggles with the weight of his responsibility to the world, but I still feel there’s enough creative space here that we could actually get something different enough to be interesting.

THE BIG DC RELAUNCH: I couldn’t be more bored by this. As it is, I feel like I have been re-told most of these characters’ origin stories about 8,000 times. Promising a marginally altered retelling for the 8,001 time doesn’t exactly grab me by my fan-balls and jolt me into attention. It’s lame for the exact same reason the new Spidey might not be: The DC characters are starting from basically the same exact foundation, so we’re going to get basically the same exact story. Superman’s small town roots will both guide and challenge his rise into the perfect heart-of-gold superhero, Batman will be the same grim and obsessive crime fighter struggling against a bleakly insane city, Wonder Woman will continue be boring and poorly written because the world hates me, etc. I’ve already heard the beginnings (and for that matter the middles also) of all these stories almost more times than I would care to. Why would I want to hear any of them again? Why can’t DC just tell new and wholly different stories with these characters instead of making me listen to the same ones over and over and over? Is DC actually trying to drive me away from their properties by making them as boring as possible?

Probably.

<3 Mike