When you’re dating someone, sometimes you have to go places you don’t want. This is one of the saddest truths in life, and one that scientists have yet to find a cure for. The best they have come up with so far is a sort of wicker bee cage that you can leap inside and lock yourself in every time your significant other says a word that could be remotely related to her family, e.g., “communion,” “mom,” “dinner.” Once you’re inside the cage, the bees just sting you mercilessly until you die. It’s not a very good solution, but then again there are plenty of not-very-good scientists.

Erectile dysfunction and space exploration? No problem! Some kind of pill or friendly robot double to let you cruise through Great Nana Rosenblaat’s third retirement party undepressed and emotionally intact? YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN WORLD!

Scientists sure are a bunch of assholes.

<3 Mike