What would your all-knowing blood test say about you? Here’s a quick guess of what mine would look like:
- Talks to his cat. A lot. Sometimes going as far to answer imagined questions she asks.
- Eats five or six meals a day. An alarming number of which are best described as “salty tortilla chips in a bowl.”
- Mopped the floor of his apartment for the first time today, and has been living in it for almost a year*
- The most depressing thing that’s happened to him in recent memory is when the local bakery across the street went out of business.
- The most chairs he has ever owned in his life is two.
And so on. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would get confidence-bolstering results back from leading a brave and well-lived life, but considering I once ignored an old woman who had slipped and fallen on ice because I didn’t want to me late for seeing X-men 2, I probably wouldn’t be one of them.
*I do sweep pretty regularly, so I suppose I’m not a total scumbag. At least for mopping-related reasons.