The conclusion of our short series about Colin and his girlfriend Lana. If you missed the beginning, you can see it right here.

This might surprise you, but there are couple other things you can do with the Internet besides look at porn. A couple suggestions off the top of my head:

- Check your bank balance online so you can figure out how much porn you can afford.

- Play video games, ideally sublimating your crass and horrible sex drive with crass and horrible simulated violence. If you’re particularly repressed/delighted by a false sense of accomplishment, you can play puzzle or strategy games, but that’s less exciting mostly because it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything wrong and you might accidentally be building useful problem-solving skills.

- Browse Facebook and be immediately reminded there is no number large enough to count all the things you hate about people. Also enjoy a few moments reflecting on your loneliness and why you don’t have any friends.

- Cat videos.

See? Despite the high number of Milf Platoon films, there are things to do on the Internet besides watching 40-year-old women frolic salaciously with 20-somethings. Hard to imagine I know, but it’s true. You just have to know where to look/be sufficiently delighted by people getting hit in the face with soccer balls.

<3 Mike