Looking for the right time to try out a new curse? Here a few situations for you:

  • Family gatherings
  • Any event where you’re acting and need to¬† “keep the dialogue authentic,” like film, plays or conversations with people you owe money
  • Remembering you owe people money
  • If (or when, depending on how often you read Lead Paint) your soul is imprisoned in the biblical hell
  • Botching your carefully crafted Walt Whitman pun in your 30-second Jeopardy Q&A
  • Your parole officer is late for your weekly meeting
  • You have a parole officer
  • You have a parole officer that remembers you aren’t supposed to be selling guns and bootleg Wiggles DVDs out of the trunk of your car.
  • You’re just telling a story and you want to seem like you’re worldly in a cool, cynical way
  • You need to express your displeasure with an electric bill, traffic situation or random drug test
  • When you wake up in the morning and are immediately reminded of the utter sham that is your life

There are plenty of chances to work with curses guys, you just have to keep your brain on the prowl for appropriate times. Stay creative, and don’t be a cursing quitter!

<3 Mike

NOT-SAFE-FOR-WORK link to one of my favorite cursing songs ever