Being innocuously double-crossed by your heritage is the worst, at least that’s what I hear anyway. As one of those white people that’s so white I can claim no membership to any ethnic subculture whatsoever (thus falling into the giant and bland catch-all bracket of “generic white American”), I base 100% of my understanding of race on Dave Chappelle stand-up and what I can piece together from muted Tyler Perry sitcoms I watch at the gym.

If you’re wondering, when us whiteys aren’t toiling out of obscene vanity at the gym, we like to wander around Panera Breads or R.E.I.’s and mumble half-sincere apologies about the government or give our opinions on Paul Simon to anyone who will listen.

<3  and happy new year’s,