Well hey everybody, I hope you enjoyed this follow-up to last Sunday’s comic. Here are a couple other ideas I have for TV shows that I’m saving for when I finally get tired of being poor:
- Officer Chimp: Primate in Blue–After hitting bottom with a harsh midlife crisis, a male chimpanzee decides to join the L.A. police force. With the help of his partner, a young and conspicuously sexy single mother struggling to hold her mess of a personal life together, Officer Chimp solves crimes week after week using his superior physical strength, crack reasoning and quirky insight into the human condition that could only be possessed by someone who’s never worn pants.
- Infinite Housewives at the Nexus of all Wrath–A botched breast enlargement procedure causes time to warp and fold up on itself, dumping the most vicious housewives that have or ever will exist into the same sunny Santa Barbara mansion. Watch as Marie Antoinette argues with Eleanor Roosevelt over who missed whose fundraiser first, or as Saturnia Divabottom IV uses her paralzying saliva and unhingable jaw to swallow and eat Laura Rockefeller whole, as is the custom of people arguing in the 41st century.
- Sports Island–Every terrible and nonsensically fanatical sports fan you’ve ever met is dropped onto a sub-tropical island in order to compete for the ultimate prize: The ability to manage the team or athlete of their choosing. It’s a fight to the death staring a cast of thousands, where only the last person alive will be allowed to leave the island and re-enter society. Each contestant is given only a small bottle of arsenic and a screwdriver to help them on their murderous way. Be sure not to miss the thrilling series finale, where the few original competitors still alive will face 500 front-runners and fair-weather fans parachuted onto the island at the last minute, each having been offered the same prize, under the same conditions, as their more dedicated predecessors.
Anyway, being poor is the worst, so get on the damn phone and give me a call already TV overlords.