I’m actually pretty nervous about joining a writing circle guys. Here are the pros and cons as I see them:


  • Judging people purely on their appearance and deciding if they’re better writers than me or not. Most post-college writing cirles I’ve seen are made up of nervous, broom-haired cat ladies and greasy fat guys with heads best described as asymetrical butter-pats, so I’m thinking I should spend most of the night feeling like Wordsworth
  • I’ll hear at least one clumsy and intensely awkward sexual passage before the night is over. Something like, “Stamen and pistil, they tumbled together through Zeus’ lilac fields, his mighty warrior’s hands untangling her overburdened bodice …”
  • Giving simple advice as pretentiously as possible in order to further boost my self esteem. My favorite move is to loosely misquote Chekhov, then only half-explain the quotation anyway.
  • All the frozen chocolate coffee sugar drinks I can stand


  • Not only realizing that any number of the ugly people are far better writers than myself, but also that I have comically pervasive issues with narcissism and insulating my self esteem. This is like a one-two punch of self-awareness that I spend most of my time trying to avoid
  • Actually enjoying one of the creepy Zeus-bodice passages. While this would put me in the interesting and rare position of enjoying what is basically public erotica, it’s not the kind of public erotica participation I could ever brag about. (A counter example would I suppose be something like naked go-kart racing, which is ideal bragging material).
  • Having to name more than one Chekhov story, or even the last thing book I read that wasn’t a comic
  • … There is nothing bad about chocolate coffee sugar drinks, but I feel compelled to write something here for the sake of symmetry

Anyway,  I’m sure you can see why I’m nervous. Socializing and making art is hard enough, but combining the the two is the worst.

<3 Mike


Get it? Because J-Gord is so dreamy?

(thanks for sharing Chrissie)