This is the third part of a story arc we’re currently running! The first part about Avery not really being into TV is just a few clicks of the “previous” button back.

I’m not entirely trying to hate on True blood, it’s an okay show. It’s got fighting and superpowers in it, which I like, and also some vampires and werewolves, which as we know from previous discussions, I’m also cool with. I’ll be honest though, my need for blood-drenched sex scenes that sometimes involve rape, murder or just some mundane face-punching is pretty minimal. It’s not that I find the violent sex that offensive or creepy, though I suppose it would be fair for anyone to interpret the scenes that way. It’s more that for me, they come off so corny and dissonant it totally ruins my immersion in the story.

Are the writers trying to make a statement about the sometimes-connection between violence and sex? Probably. Do I find that point to be totally boring and sophomoric? Absolutely. Is there some kind of basic threshold of bloody sex that is destined to inhabit a vampire story? Yeah definitely. Does it always have to come off as a first-year creative writing student’s overshot attempt at writing something emotionally shocking and profound? Please, please no.

Dear True Blood writers,

Please stop wasting my time with indulgent social commentary, especially if you’re only going to address it tangentially and then move on to other annoying plot threads like “Don’t forgot, boring Tara still has issues with her annoying mother!” Instead, I would appreciate it if you would address more pressing questions like how Bill, a being with incredible super powers and a hundred-plus years of wisdom, manages to get kidnapped at least once a season, sometimes by what appear to be bumbling hillbillies.

Thanks and <3,