Finally! A comic is based on at least 60% truth! You can listen to the song mentioned in the comic right here, with all its boys’ choir glory:

Anti-flag is a weird band. On the one hand, I find songs with lyrics like, “The neo-christian theocrats pray on a Sunday afternoon/then welcome in Pinochet’s men to intimidate and kill,” to be intolerably absurd. Not that there is anything wrong with singing about theocrats or murderous despots, the problem for me is in the phrasing and delivery. To me, lyrics like those come off as a big  mash-up of the two-minute hate, your mom nagging you about remembering to wash the pesticides off apples, and that kid in high school who was always ranting about how much he hated cops, even though he was a spoiled rich brat and the only cop he knew anyway was your D.A.R.E. officer, who incidentally spent most of his time trying to keep drunks off the road and dumbass kids just like that whiny turd from overdosing on heroin or something especially stupid, like a homemade mix of  Viagra and horse tranqs referred to as bonerludes.

So … not a fan of their lyrics for the most part. Musically though, man, they sure can write some catchy songs. In fact, with songs that don’t have horrible* lyrics, they can even crank out some downright enjoyable little tunes! Here are a couple of my favorites:

So I’m kind of torn on my feelings about Anti-Flag, not that anyone reading cares even remotely. I’m sure most of you are sitting there thinking, “Uh Mike, people stopped caring about Anti-Flag basically in 1992. We’ve all moved on to fun, better things like Jay-Z and Passion Pit. You should try not being so shitty.” I would offer two things in response:

  1. Get off my lawn you damn kids
  2. I hope you enjoy next weeks’ comic, which is going to be a fun, topical piece about the Pearl Jam album Binaural and how I have a lot of long, wordy opinions on it

<3 Mike

*”Horrible” is a critical word here. I don’t mean “good” or even “well-crafted,” though this may be the case in places. I mean “not horrible,” as in something that is not inflicting maximum unpleasantness on you.