Based on a (maybe) true story from a while ago. You can read the original blurb right here. Go ahead, give it a click, it’s only like 150 words. Read it yet? Good. Now we have some things to talk about.

  1. Not that I’m Mr. Sensitive or anything, given that the comic preceding this is about some animate letters planning to slowly murder a young boy using at least one power tool, but don’t you feel they’re being a little glib about the girl’s injury? I feel like it’s one step away from “Hot Red Mess: Sexy teen with brain damage that makes everything taste like cupcakes finally blows brains out after failing to taste mom’s spaghetti and meat sauce one too many times.”
  2. Is this story even real? Of all the humans on the planet, a 24-year old girl named AMANDA FLOWERS hits her head and becomes a nympho? Why not just name her Felicia Dongprowler and call it a day?
  3. I’ve written a lot of terrible, poorly crafted things in my life, there is no question of that. Still, “A woman has gone from Nintendo to nympho” has got to be one of the most god-awful leads I’ve read in my life.

If we’ve learned anything today, it’s that exercise and video games don’t mix. If you’re not sitting in a bed lazily cutting the heads off demons or bandits, you’re doing it wrong.

<3 Mike

SONGS FOR WEDS.: