QUESTION TIME 5:
This may not come as a huge surprise, but I’ll cop to having a fair bit of mental problems. Imagining I have Wolverine’s claws may or may not be one of them. I will give this clue though:

My girlfriend, whom I torment with more-or-less my full arsenal of question games, is against having anything like claws pop out of her body. I first learned of her stance on body-sheathed metal tools when I asked her if she would want to be able to flip her wrist back and shoot off a grappling hook similar to Batman’s. Her answer was an emphatic “No,” the justification being that she has an innate phobia or “gets skeeved out” by firing mechanical tools from her body.

I have to admit, as baffled as I am by anyone turning down a concealed grappling hook, her reason against it is the only acceptable one I can think of. I mean, it’s not like anyones life would be made worse by having a grappling-gun wrist or unbreakable knives hidden in your knuckles, nor is it logically possible for anyone to be bored or uninterested in such tools. How would life not be better with such implements?

The only way to justify not wanting the implements then, is to refuse them from a space outside of logic. Having an inherent skeeve connection to such things is one such reason, which you’d be wise to remember if you’re ever kidnapped by the Weapon-X program. Just say, “No claws for me Dr. Cornelious, thanks! They gross me out. I’ll take the healing factor though, and maybe some stretchy arms.” 

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’ve never gotten any good advice from a webcomic.

IT NEVER LEARNS:

Other things Brian is good for:

  • Determining whether or not something is a “sausage-fest”
  • Habitually drinking too much on business trips, each time creating a sort of “awkwardness oil spill,” poisoning everything in the area and making you envy those who choke on balls of tar and collapse asphyxiated at your feet.
  • Talking to you emphatically about fantasy sports, kind of making you a little interested in them until you realize there are no goblins OR hit points involved.

<3 Mike

SONG FOR WEDS:

Thought I would try something a little different this week, and embed a single video instead. Found this video via the magic of Twitter, and thought I would pass it along. This video has everything a good video should: A crazy bearded guy with a great voice, rad dancing and stop-motion antics. Enjoy!

(Bah, no embed option? Sorry! Here is the link!: http://www.youtube.com/dangerbirdrecords#p/a )