Our old friend, Mr. Meatclown, back for another appearance! You can read his debut adventure here, if you’re new to the site.

The Disney Princesses brand is kind of a weird thing. The obvious thing to talk about would be how the brand is pure anti-feminism, my personal opinion being that even Paris Hilton is a more empowering role model for young girls. I’m not really in a ranting mood though this morning, being happily sated with an early lunch of humus and tea.

I will say though, I do get a kick out of the Princess marketing bundle. It seems like such a bolt-from-the-blue, apple- on-the head idea, I love trying to picture the moment it was conceived. I imagine this Disney marketing puke, lying in bed or maybe sitting on the toilet, when all of a sudden, Bam! Multi-million dollar merchandising idea!

The next morning, a nervous knock on his/her boss’s door:

“Uh, hey Mitch. How was your weekend? Good? Planted some new Hostas out front? That’s … nice. Hey, I had an idea this weekend. You know all those princess characters we own? What if we combined them into a like a Justice League or Babysitter’s Club or something?”

Cue stunned pause, then an entire career made from selling pink stationary packs and birthday decorations to preteen girls.I have to say, I’m jealous. My best get-rich-quick idea is Cranston the Date-Rape Pony. He teaches girls about all kinds of cute and fun things, like where not to leave their drinks at frat parties or how to find the nearest Planned Parenthood. That isn’t exactly the kind of idea that puts you on equal footing with Lisa Frank.

<3

SUNDAY’S SONGS:

I think we’re going to do some white-guy rap songs today. The songs are pretty self-explanatory, except for “Livin’ at the Corner of Dude & Catastrophe,” which is about Achewood, my oft-mentioned favorite webcomic.