Tale as Old as Time

Our old friend, Mr. Meatclown, back for another appearance! You can read his debut adventure here, if you’re new to the site.

The Disney Princesses brand is kind of a weird thing. The obvious thing to talk about would be how the brand is pure anti-feminism, my personal opinion being that even Paris Hilton is a more empowering role model for young girls. I’m not really in a ranting mood though this morning, being happily sated with an early lunch of humus and tea.

I will say though, I do get a kick out of the Princess marketing bundle. It seems like such a bolt-from-the-blue, apple- on-the head idea, I love trying to picture the moment it was conceived. I imagine this Disney marketing puke, lying in bed or maybe sitting on the toilet, when all of a sudden, Bam! Multi-million dollar merchandising idea!

The next morning, a nervous knock on his/her boss’s door:

“Uh, hey Mitch. How was your weekend? Good? Planted some new Hostas out front? That’s … nice. Hey, I had an idea this weekend. You know all those princess characters we own? What if we combined them into a like a Justice League or Babysitter’s Club or something?”

Cue stunned pause, then an entire career made from selling pink stationary packs and birthday decorations to preteen girls.I have to say, I’m jealous. My best get-rich-quick idea is Cranston the Date-Rape Pony. He teaches girls about all kinds of cute and fun things, like where not to leave their drinks at frat parties or how to find the nearest Planned Parenthood. That isn’t exactly the kind of idea that puts you on equal footing with Lisa Frank.

<3

SUNDAY’S SONGS:

I think we’re going to do some white-guy rap songs today. The songs are pretty self-explanatory, except for “Livin’ at the Corner of Dude & Catastrophe,” which is about Achewood, my oft-mentioned favorite webcomic.


Discussion (12) ¬

  1. Sender

    I think the only reason Cranston wouldn’t be popular is because he’s a normal pony. Now make it a Pony-VAMPIRE that teaches pre-teen girls critical rape-defense skills and prepare to sign three-picture deal with Sony with Chris Columbus attached to direct

    • Mike

      Haha, three pictures sure is a lot of mileage to get out of rape-defense skills Sender, no matter how vampiric. Cranston must have stored up a lot of skills throughout his immortal life …

  2. Nicholas

    Unless you ate broken-down soil for lunch (or maybe an 80’s Mexican psychedelic band), I think you meant to say “hummus.”

    • Mike

      No, I had broken-down soil. I find it really compliments the tee, and gives me lots of vital nutrients to.

  3. Margo

    I have to agree–a pony-vampire would be more successful and we all know it’s the vampires that know all about date-rape anyway.

    Also, ZOMG Lisa Frank! That shit was COOL.

    • Mike

      Heh, I got a good laugh out of vampires knowing about date-rape Margo, thank you.

  4. Grant

    I’m not a big fan of Mr. Meatclown.

    • Mike

      Crap, well there’s a Christmas present ruined …

  5. matt

    so i was using stumbleupon, when i came across your comic. I must say, i LOVE it. i read every comic and the blog post that goes with it. also, i would totally go out and buy Beauty and the Meatclown.

    • Mike

      Thanks for reading Matt, it’s much appreciated!

  6. dodgsun

    stumbled this and been trawling for the last 1/2hr.. amazing stuff!
    think i’ll add this along with sinfest as ‘comics to read’…oh and saw this version of Lisa franks work and thought it to be topical :)
    http://jezebel.com/5405163/all-of-lisa-franks-nightmares-are-coming-true

    • Mike

      Thanks for the praise Dodgsun, and that link is pretty rad too!

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