My own childhood religious experiences were not as much fun as Colin’s. Confusing God with a vindictive Professor X instead of a protective megazord/street-fighting hybrid, I constantly feared that God was reading my mind. I remember many nights laying in bed, repeating to myself over and over that I believed in God, lest he find out otherwise and therefor be forced to immediately send me to hell. Certainly, this not as much fun as lollipop rains, or even giant-monster combat.

Now that I’m older and I’ve redirected my mental problems to more age-appropriate areas, like worrying about money, impending baldness or my newly discovered banana allergy, I can have more fun with religious ideologies and principles and fret less about getting banished to a realm of eternal darkness and fire. I don’t know that I understand God any better than I did as a child (or any better than Colin appears to either), but I suppose I’m now mature enough to appreciate the confusion trying to absorb big ideas like God, faith and salvation can cause a child and crack light.

<3 Mike


Let’s do some religious-themed songs.! Now with 100% 66% more Grooveshark listening! Woo!

  • “I’m Going to Hell for This One”–NOFX. About what might happen if Jesus came back today.
  • “God Deciding”–Hot Water Music/Chuck Ragan. More about war (I think) that God directly, but there’s plenty of religious imagery, SO LISTEN TO IT AND LOVE IT PEOPLE. Note: Grooveshark says it’s Alkaline Trio, but that’s because the file is off the wonderful Alkaline Trio/Hot Water Music split CD. It is in fact Hot Water Music playing the song.
  • “1 Million Years B.C.”–The Misfits. About the Devil, and/or a crazy dinosaur movie staring Raquel Welch from 1966. With the Misfits, you never know. They love their monsters and ’50s/’60s actresses to be sure. Also singing about dismembering women and/or children, but not too much of that going on here. The song is not on Grooveshark as far as I can tell, but you can listen to it on YouTube right here.