My own childhood religious experiences were not as much fun as Colin’s. Confusing God with a vindictive Professor X instead of a protective megazord/street-fighting hybrid, I constantly feared that God was reading my mind. I remember many nights laying in bed, repeating to myself over and over that I believed in God, lest he find out otherwise and therefor be forced to immediately send me to hell. Certainly, this not as much fun as lollipop rains, or even giant-monster combat.
Now that I’m older and I’ve redirected my mental problems to more age-appropriate areas, like worrying about money, impending baldness or my newly discovered banana allergy, I can have more fun with religious ideologies and principles and fret less about getting banished to a realm of eternal darkness and fire. I don’t know that I understand God any better than I did as a child (or any better than Colin appears to either), but I suppose I’m now mature enough to appreciate the confusion trying to absorb big ideas like God, faith and salvation can cause a child and crack light.
<3 Mike
SONGS TILL WEDS.:
Let’s do some religious-themed songs.! Now with 100% 66% more Grooveshark listening! Woo!
- “I’m Going to Hell for This One”–NOFX. About what might happen if Jesus came back today.
- “God Deciding”–Hot Water Music/Chuck Ragan. More about war (I think) that God directly, but there’s plenty of religious imagery, SO LISTEN TO IT AND LOVE IT PEOPLE. Note: Grooveshark says it’s Alkaline Trio, but that’s because the file is off the wonderful Alkaline Trio/Hot Water Music split CD. It is in fact Hot Water Music playing the song.
- “1 Million Years B.C.”–The Misfits. About the Devil, and/or a crazy dinosaur movie staring Raquel Welch from 1966. With the Misfits, you never know. They love their monsters and ’50s/’60s actresses to be sure. Also singing about dismembering women and/or children, but not too much of that going on here. The song is not on Grooveshark as far as I can tell, but you can listen to it on YouTube right here.
kamehameha is totally down-back-forward
It was actuallly supposed to be a Ryu-from-street-fighter style hyper-hadouken (down-down/towards-towards + punch). Apparently the moves look more similar than I remember, which I think is pretty cool actually.
“person” must be a youngster. Only that would explain how he could confuse a hadoken with anything else.
I don’t even know what “kamehameha” is from (but it sounds vaguely familiar). Because I’m old, I guess.
Ooh, I googled it. It’s not because I’m old, it’s because I didn’t spend college watching shows that sucked.
Hahah, that’s a harsh burn Grant. I lol’d.
wow, actually brings back memories of my sunday school years (i got sent to the priest cause i drew jesus riding on a velociraptor, it was pretty awesome lol) i recommend Mischief Brew randomly, because i got a free swag package that included one of his tapes and its pretty awesome
Mischief Brew is fun time. Thanks for the recommendation.
Consider yourself lucky… Sunday school is a light indoctrination. In full-blown Catholic school, I was traumatized pretty much off the bat in grade 1, when the teacher bitched me out for trying to compare biblical character to the Super Friends.
There is no God.
That’s not what your mom said last night! Hi-oh!
I like this one, by the way. It seems my favorite ones involve the characters as youngsters.
You have yet to top the turkey lasers, however. (Which is the one that got me here in the first place. Thanks, I Heart Chaos!)
“Add more lasers” is now officaly at the top of my writing notebook, along with “Bewbs=rad” and “Grappling hooks???”
It is not a very helpful notebook.
Surely, if you lay in bed thinking God could hear your thoughts and thus were scared into repeating “I believe in God” – you already did, as otherwise you’d have been talking to yourself?
I’m not going to investigate that thought further, as I can see the logic depending on itself somehow.
E.
(Atheist, except when God’s watching)
Yeah, I mean that’s definitely true, but in second grade, my reasoning skills weren’t that sharp to cut through such bizarre anxieties.
Thankfully, I’ve really evolved my mental problems/self-deceptive lies in my old age. Less worrying about God, and way more concern over whether my girlfriend hates my shoulder hair or not.
I’ve always enjoyed NOFX’s EPs so much more than their full lengths. Their sound just seems more suited to the shorter length of an EP to me. Punk in Drublic and White Trash are still great albums, though. I don’t think I need to mention how great everything Hot Water Music has ever done is.